Shifting Gear, Changing Lane
By YOHANS GOZAL
I remember perfectly it was a cloudy and windy evening. The sky was rather dark, signaling for the imminent rain to come. And there I found myself sitting on a bench, perspiring, heart beating faster than usual and mumbling to myself a mixture of self-cursing, rehearsed answers, comforting thoughts and assuring words altogether.
Simply put, I was nervous.
In the matter of minutes my name would be called upon and three not-so-friendly-looking men would then take their turn to ask me questions just about everything that mattered so those "YES" boxes on their list got ticked. Those YES-es would determine whether I would be a suitable student candidate for the school’s next intake. Those YES-es, if ticked, would facilitate the biggest decision I probably ever made for myself in my life so far, and this might be the only chance I had before it really is too late.
How could I end up here, you may be wondering?
Well, I had been asking myself the same thing for a while then. I am 25 years old, had what you call a stable job, and yet, there I was, requesting, asking, begging (!) to be allowed to start from zero again.
Thoughts were running wild inside my head. I asked myself again and again: "What am I thinking?! I’ve got my IT degree, a comfortable job that pays the bills, and if I wish I could even quit this one and look for another job in the same line with a better pay, right?! So what am I thinking to decide 'wasting' two years of my time and my money to return to school to study culinary?!"
Yes, my dear friends. While peers of my age are putting their all to climb the elusive career ladder, I was sitting for an interview to get a place in, above all things, a culinary school!
Even in that very last minute, I was still not confident that I was doing the right thing. Even at that very last second, I actually thought of calling the interview off.
Motivational speaker John Izzo Ph. D. wrote in his book "The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die", there are two types of people, those who follow the voices in their heart and those who don’t.
People who do not listen and follow what their hearts tell them will usually find themselves living their lives only to realise someone else’s dream (e.g parent’s ambition), lingering about in a life that the littlest voice in their heart already knows is not for them. Most likely this group of people will have to struggle throughout their lives to achieve misinterpreted goals and purposes, and as a result never feeling contented with their selves regardless how much they have achieved.
There is no doubt, who we are today as the mater of fact, is the outcome of our very own actions and decisions we made in the past. The problem lies in when we factor in too much outside noises when we are setting our courses in life, resulting in not doing what we really want to but what our surrounding "told" or "made" us to.
‘Playing it safe" was probably the main template I’ve been using in my life whenever am making a decision for myself. Why not a degree in IT, it’s what everyone’s doing at that time and my parents agree, it’s a safe choice, but is that what I really want to do?
I'm not sure. All I could remember I did my study half-heartedly and pass with only a slightly above average. Nine-to-five work in a big IT firm, which is quite promising in term of career advancement if I stay long enough, plus the job market doesn’t look really good at the moment, so why not just stay? But then is that what I see myself doing in many years to come? All I could remember in most days I came back home from work feeling tired but unsatisfied.
Of course it’s not all about unpleasant experiences and unhappy times in my life, but I always knew and silently hope that there is more to life than just this. I have seen it all, people who find themselves down in a sorry lane of rat race filled with disappointments and regrets. They simply follow the common tracks, full of fear and hesitation of breaking away from the pack.
I decided I need to do something before it’s too late and regret comes knocking.
In his book, one of John’s lessons of life is "be honest to yourself". I started to do just that, being honest to myself in answering questions like "What is that one thing I enjoy doing the most?" "What is my passion?" "And can I make a living doing what I enjoy doing? "Will I be willing to step outside my comfort zone, look for a career that not only pays but one that gives me LIFE?"
Answering these question help me made my decision to quit my IT job and go back to school to study what I enjoy doing the most, cooking.
It's definitely not an easy decision to make. The hardest part was not to convince the people who care a great deal about me, but rather to convince myself that I have not made the dumbest choice in my life.
I have shifted my gear, I have changed my lane, but there is no guarantee that my journey ahead will be a smooth one. With the twists and turns in this obstacle course called life, who knows which big walls I will crash into?
Ask me if I still have qualms about the decision I made, I do not think as much nowadays and whenever I find myself in doubt like during that evening when I was sitting in the school bench waiting for my turn to get interviewed, I always remember what my good friend, K, once told me and I quote "Sometimes we have to squat first, so that we can jump further ahead."
At the end of the day, I'm holding on to this principle: Victory is not something I can always guarantee, but losses are, if I choose not to try at all.
I have followed my heart and made my decision. With all things said and done, I can only hope I will cruise safely ahead.
Now, have you been honest to yourself?
Yohans Gozal is glad he stayed on for the interview. He has got himself a placement at At-Sunrice GlobalChef Academy for Advanced Diploma in Culinary Art Study and is happily waiting for his first day of school in October. He likes his egg poached to a smooth silky white on the outside with a bright winning yellow oozing out in the centre and served with a little sprinkle of freshly ground black pepper. He is not into car racing.